Would You Sing Me a Swansong, 2021? — Year in Review
2021’s Swansong — My Year in Review
“Settle down this year. Get comfortable this year. First car this year…” The goals flitted through my mind as I watched 2020 careen into 2021, eyes liquid with hope, palms glistening with faith.
In retrospect, I cannot tell that 2021 was a terrible year, yet I cannot say it was great either. I can say, however, that it was the year I finally got clarity.
I’d spent the past eight years of my adult life walking on my knees, waiting for scraps, wanting, yearning, hoping. But in late 2021, I finally picked myself from the waiting line and walked through the door. It was the year I rid myself of baggage, found my footing in the world, and now know where I am going.
2021 was a year of many firsts, and for these, I am grateful.
Career pivot
I grew up as a storyteller. I’m an only child. I was seven when my mother died. My father passed me around friends to give him space to focus on his journalism. When I finally got shipped back to the village, I turned to books.
At 12, I had read every single book in my grandfather’s house — hundreds of them, as my grandfather had been an academic. I read everything, from history books to contemporary fiction, adult magazines, crime and romantic thrillers, the works. I read the Bible cover to cover several times, including deuterocanonical books and the Apocrypha. I read the Longman Dictionary too. Then I got bored and created soccer games with paper players made from my father’s letterheads (he whipped the hell out of me the day he came back and found out). I created universes and storylines, drew comic books and wrote happy-ending stories. I was such a lonely kid.
Then life happened; I grew up and started chasing money. From social media management to digital marketing to software tech, I kept drifting. My life’s sole purpose tied to the next paycheck. I drifted like this until September 2021, when I made the rash decision to quit my (remote) job in the US startup where I’d managed marketing operations for 18 months. I’d moved cities and apartments twice in the year and had barely enough savings. I had just really started to settle down when I got fed up with the job and handed in my resignation notice. I did not know my next move.
In the next two months, I attended several interviews where I knew, from the first five minutes, that I didn’t want to be there. I’m also not great at selling myself, so I just coasted half-heartedly.
In October, I wrote my first story in years — about my travails househunting in Lagos. I started writing more often, and it became clear that I had to walk towards my first love — storytelling. In November, I joined Zikoko as a copy editor.
These career pivots are significant because, as an easily bored creative, for the first time in my life, I am working in a place I really want to work, and with the wildest, craziest rockstars.
This year, I also started product design. In the long run, I intend to be at the intersection between storytelling and design as it affects us in a rapidly changing world.
Relationships and social life
Relationships have never been my strong point. I have been accused of being insular, standoffish, unapproachable, and whatnot. Pair that with social anxiety and you see why I have to drink to get out of myself, and then I overcompensate for my long stretches of aloneness by doing the most and going back home to replay my embarrassing moments.
2021, I slid into DMS and started exciting connections. Maintaining them might be another wahala, but at least I initiated conversations. Run me my credit.
I reunited with my family after two years of radio silence. I realised, one day, that I no longer carried anger or hurt in my body. I do not know if indifference is a good thing, but it definitely made reconnecting easier. It’s also interesting to experience respect when you are no longer dependent.
In November, love came knocking like water to a dry place after years of wilderness. I answered for a bit, but it quickly became overwhelming, and I had to come up for air. Will I try again in 2022? K’anyi nene.
This year, I rose above social anxiety and started to go out more. I reached out to fashion designers and made more outfits than I have ever made in my entire life. I even did Detty December for five weekends.
I went clubbing for the first time in my life, and I have to admit, that thing is simply not for me. I cannot dance to save my life, and I still think “rocking” is weird. With music so loud I had to scream myself hoarse, it took me a week to recover. I’d much rather stay at my house and play CODmobile, thank you.
I founded a monthly poetry evening but could not continue due to lack of funds. 2022, we try again.
Health and finances
My health was in hell for the most part. I’d been working across widely differing timezones in a role I hated, and so I battled insomnia and anxiety. Things started to get better after I quit my previous job, though. Those two months where I didn’t have to do work I didn’t enjoy, I rested quite a lot, ate better, and gradually recalibrated my circadian rhythm. I entered into 2021 averaging three hours of restless sleep per night, but I am signing out with six hours on average.
I have seen significant improvement in my body. I started 2021 struggling to squat 40kg barbells with good form. My current 1RM with perfect form is 100kg with 80kg on a regular day. In 2022, we solidify this foundation and I manifest a season of ashawo shorts and slaykinging.
Most of my money went into moving houses and furnishing them. I have started to save again but it’s so difficult as I don’t earn as much as I used to. I also made some major silly purchases and often found myself having to dip into my Kuda Bank overdraft.
The main goal for 2021 is to at least 5X my current income and cultivate better financial discipline. I also intend to start investing, so help me God.
Oh, and I bought health insurance and signed up for therapy. Yay, adulting!
Habits
2021 was an inconsistent year for me in building and maintaining routines. On the one hand, I was somewhat consistent with working out and cooking my meals. On the other hand, I left too many chats unreplied and completed a grand total of zero books. For context, I’d been averaging 50 books per annum in previous years. I kept buying books in 2021, but I never got around to reading them. My work requires me to be plugged into social media, so it’s interesting to see how I tackle my (book) reading problem in 2022.
Final thoughts
It’s been such a drawn-out year, but it’s had its high points — I mean, 2021 gave us Bernie Sanders’ memes, #bussitchallenge, #sillhouetechallenge and comrade memes.
I approach 2022 as a survivor and a conqueror. I have proven myself not to be perfect but to be true to myself. I am deserving of a tender smile and a laugh that starts its journey from the eyes.
“Settle down this year. Get comfortable this year. Mercedez Benz this year…”
It seems all too surreal now as I walk away from the window of my living room which doubles as my office. But before I do, I draw the curtains just enough to allow a trickle of dimming bright filter in. I shut down my laptop and go to put off my generator. NEPA has brought light.
Outside, the trees whistle gently to the songs of the wind and sway to the music of the homecoming birds still flying across the burnished blue sky like paint on canvas.
My mind is steady and set. In a few hours, I depart for 2022 a man who has learned lessons. A man who has found clarity. A remarkable journey in progress. A man walking towards light.
